First half of October is gone, and we’re also on the last quarter of the year.
For a period of our lives that is mostly spent indoors, time seems to pass by so fast. I don’t know if it is because everything has been sort of a routine already.
But, sometimes, the weekends are a special case.
Doing household chores is something I kind of look forward to now. Doing the laundry, which used to be such a tedious task for me, has become sort of cathartic. Not gonna lie, I do get a kick out of being so efficient on doing it. It is a satisfying kind of productivity high.
There’s the spontaneous outdoor activity as well that does the brain some good. I would love to do it more often, even on weekdays. I want to get into the habit of biking early in the morning.
However, there’s still the stress of being paranoid about being outside.
It’s been 8 months since the pandemic has drastically changed so many of our lives. While my husband and I haven’t been affected as badly as the others, it has still been tough.
I am only thankful that ever since we adopted our kittens, Mikan & Ponkan, last June, they’ve given our home a new color of energy that we didn’t think we need. The house is a little messy because of them, but there’s also an abundance of joy, cuddles, and purrs (and poop).
I have been reading poetry lately. It’s a welcome respite from reading so much fiction last month.
I don’t remember how I’ve come across her, but I’ve been reading the works of Mary Oliver. It may have been from browsing through the book titles in Ominiana. They have 4 Mary Oliver collections that I really want to buy soon. They’re just sitting on my cart for now, but I plan to buy all 4 before the year ends.
So far, reading her works has become sort of cleansing for my soul. I finished her collection, Felicity, a few days ago and loved it. Something about the tone of her language draws me in, and makes me feel light. It’s the same feeling I get when I go to the beach in the early mornings and just listen to the gentle lapping of waves against the shore.
I read that she regularly takes early morning walks and loves being surrounded by nature ever since she was young. It very much shows in her writing.
I, too, love early morning walks and communing with nature.
I think that’s why I fell in love with Mary Oliver’s works so easily, the same way with Emily Dickinson. Both are so attuned to nature and life’s beauty and mysteries.
What we do throughout our life, and how we live through it, really reflects on how we also write.
Like right now, I am still trying to work on editing the first versions of these 2 pieces I wrote for my class with Isa, and I dislike how I can still be so hurt and bitter over some things in the past. I talked about this with her before too, how my writing was so negative and just full of pent up emotions. I don’t remember the exact things she said, but she helped me understand that we all have that period in our life, and that’s okay. From that conversation it also made me realize, that in the middle of writing those pieces, it kind of helped me process those emotions and helped me close that door of my past as well.
But, I digress.
Both Oliver’s and Dickinson’s work make me think deeply about the universe, life, and the self. I can’t explain what it is until I came upon an article which mentioned this literary school/movement or I think more of a philosophical movement, called transcendentalism. I don’t remember which article exactly it is, as I have opened so many as I explored more about it, but, as I was reading, it slowly kind of made sense to me.
TRANSCENDENTALISM is a very formal word that describes a very simple idea. People, men and women equally, have knowledge about themselves and the world around them that “transcends” or goes beyond what they can see, hear, taste, touch or feel.Transcendentalism, An American Philosophy
Apparently, both Oliver & Dickinson were transcendentalists. So is Emerson, Thoreau, and Whitman. So now I’m adding those 3 other poets whose works I should also read, if I want to get into this concept. And, just to see how it is being reflected on their works.
It’s an interesting idea, which also brought me into thinking about existentialism. Though I’ve yet to read more on how these two concepts differ.
This is what I love about reading literature. It always opens me up to another body of knowledge that is so fascinating to learn and make sense of.
I’ve always been a thinker. When I was young I always question a lot of things in my mind, and try to seek for the answers on my own. I always strive to have to make sense of things all the time, and whenever it doesn’t, that’s when conflict arise.
You can just imagine how I try to deal with issues on human relationships that doesn’t make sense to me.
There is that drive to seek understanding though, but there’s also the human instinct of self-preservation. It’s always a balancing act. And personally, I am still figuring out how to do that.
Again, I’m rambling.
I don’t know if I will every attempt to write poetry again after high school and early college. (It was bad poetry, I don’t want to think about it haha) But I would love to learn about it again. I’m checking out ModPo again on Coursera, and looking into A Poetry Handbook, which Mary Oliver also wrote!
Right now, reading poetry has helped me slow down. Not just slowing down in life, but in my head. I think too much of things. It’s not altogether bad, but I find that reading poems has helped me give my mind a break. If that makes sense.
I have taken a break from my personal Facebook & Twitter for a while now. It’s doing me some good. I have not completely sworn of social media yet! I still use my Instagram, although it needs some updating, and I have separate Twitter accounts where I dump my thoughts on writing, and another for the games I play. I much prefer being on Discord now, though. I belong to a few servers with some friends, bookclubs, stationery groups, and gaming communities. It’s a lot of fun conversing with such diverse sets of people.
I do want to write on here more. It just scares me sometimes to be so vulnerable in a public space. But, I will try. I write most of my thoughts on my morning pages now. I will try come by here every now and then, to sift through those thoughts, and share some of it in this intimate space.
I’m also working on my writing goals for the rest of this quarter, so I think it will help if I spend some time writing more here. So, there’s that too.
Well, then. Until the next.